The Art of Being Lazy

A couple of weeks ago I was in bed with some sort of unknown illness.  All I could do was lay there and feel helpless.  Though some may revel in the opportunity to just lay around and rest (my husband being of that kind), this is not the ideal situation for a doer as myself.  Andrew resorted to removing any distractions from the bedroom (anything that might tempt me out of bed to clean, sort, or organize) and strongly advising that I stay in bed except to get something to eat or drink.  The more effort I put forth, the  more I was set back from recovery, so I finally relented.  This did not fair well for my attitude, however.

The more I lay in bed and did nothing, feeling horrible, the more frustrated I became and the worse my attitude.  I became rather grouchy and, to be honest, kind of mean.  I found myself apologizing a lot.

Finally, as I began to feel better, I realized that though I spent a lot of time on Facebook, joining Pinterest and filling up bulletin boards, and sleeping, the one thing I didn't do was seek out my Creator, my Savior, my Healer, The Great Physician.  I wanted so badly to get well and yet Christ was not on my mind.  Once or twice I may have thought to go to Him but was easily distracted and the thought quickly vanished.

I went to the doctor and after a battery of questions, tests, and lab-work, the cause of my illness went undetected and I was given vague instructions.  The next day, feeling well enough to go to Church, I sat in the lobby afterward waiting for Andrew, who was serving for an event following the service, and came down on my knees in repentance.  I realized that my lack of Christ as my hope in my illness had some ugly repercussions--my attitude, my relationship with my husband, and my ability to get well.  Two days later, still improving, I wrote this in my journal:

"Lord, not two days ago did I fall at your feet and repent for not seeking You when I was ill and yet I am just now coming back to You!  I am so very tired as I'm still healing and yet have been keeping myself so busy.  I look back at my time in bed and am thinking of how many chores I need to do to make up for the lost time rather than reveling in the chance to just rest.

As a result of all of this, I sit here feeling spent and am reminded, yet again, of Mary and Martha.  Mary is forever on her knees before the feet of Christ (Luke 10:39; John 11:32, 12:3) whether she was strong in faith or not.  I feel more like that which describes Martha in Luke 10:41, "Anxious and troubled about many things (NLT)" even when forced to rest; forced to let go of my many anxieties and troubles; I fail to look at Jesus' feet and remember that there's a better way--a road that will carry me rather than one which is a burden for me to carry.

God, as I face needing to go back to wok and dive into all the tasks which need to be done, I cry out to You to form in my heart and mind the vision of rest.  Andrew has been telling me that there is a difference between what needs to be done right now, what should be done but can wait, and what I need to just completely look away from and forget about--to not worry myself over at all. Help me to distinguish these, Father!  Help me to learn the beauty of Jesus' feet."

My hope in sharing this with you is that you would also be encouraged to reflect on Jesus' feet as Mary did; that you would let go of the many things which cause anxiety and trouble in your heart, mind, and spirit and seek the feet of Him who has already taken on those burdens for you on the path to righteousness.  Being free of anxiety and trouble over many things allows me to take my eyes off being free of my own burdens that I might help lighten those of others around me.