The Job Shuffle

I look around at people's lives around me and I really shouldn't because I see people settled down, buying houses, decorating, going to the same job day after day, month after month.  They are a variety of people who, combined, have the kind of life I want.  It's like the Proverbs 31 woman--all ideal characteristics of a woman, wife, and mother, but that's just it--she's idealistic.  She can't possibly be one woman.  She's a combination of attributes of Godly women.  Here I sit in an apartment that is not going to be mine in a couple of months with a job that, Lord willing, also will not be mine after long.  I seem to be experiencing constant dissatisfaction as I live a life centered on words like:

"For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger; abundance and need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

Of that passage, I think in a lot of ways verse thirteen has become a Christian catch phrase.  It has even been demoted to being a cliche in a lot of instances, which I find quite sad because the words previous get overlooked.  In my experience Christ has too often become an elixir to promote power despite our humanness.  A quick fix.  Rather than seeing the hardship of being without or the willpower of being good stewards of our blessed abundance, so often all we see in that passage is, "I can do all things," and "Strengthens me."

I do this more than I care to admit.  Oh how holy and powerful am I that I have Jesus in my life do "good things."  I am neither holy nor powerful.  In the "good things" that I do, I am daily humbled.  Lately, the only reason I time to do good things is because I'm working a job that I hate where I get scheduled as few as thirteen hours each week.  I am supposed to earn my hours based on how well I do the job.  With several positive reviews sent in by clients as well as a company auditor praising my good work, I still only earned a whopping fourteen hours for this next week.

When I first heard that the hours scheduled were based on work effort, I thought they were talking about choice of shift.  I learned the hard way it was whether or not I even got a shift, much less a shift that lasted more than three hours.  So I thought, well, if I just work harder.  If I make my effort known.  If I just lean on Jesus to strengthen me, then surely I will be rewarded.  The harder I work, the better I get at my job, the more positive feedback my management gets from those I serve, the less hours I've been getting.  So, obviously, this single verse is not a formula for a quick fix during life's hard times or winning a sports game.  My attention has been shifted from, "I can do all things..." to "I know how to be brought low...in any and every circumstance...facing hunger...and need."

It is not my work, my effort, my ability which has been strengthened by Christ.  It is my fortress, my rock, my protection.  In my lowness, Christ has risen me up by putting around me a community of believers who see Christ's Spirit in me and run to protect and encourage me.  In circumstances where my finances are scarce and my resources have run dry, God has not only provided me with a husband who takes lead in carrying the burden but also circumstances which has freed us from need.  My strength has come through reason to have faith that God is good.  The things I do are an expression of my gratitude to my Savior, whom I want to share with the world.  They are a sacrifice of self rather than a promotion of ability.

Andrew, my husband, and I are in the final days of waiting to see if we are accepted into ministry positions through New Tribes Mission.  The jobs we would be doing through this organization are, for both of us, what we feel God is calling us to do for His Kingdom.  All we want to do is to serve Him but in the meantime, our current work situations are less than ideal.  After leaving a ministry position myself, this past August, I've become miserable in the secular work force.  Now on my second job, which I described a bit earlier, I am feeling desperate to get back into a Christian work environment.

Andrew has been struggling on the work-front since before we even began seeing one-another.  Going from bad mechanic job to bad mechanic job.  He's even tried to find other work--any work--to supplement his mechanics job so that he could take some of the pressure off of me before we got married.  It seems like here a job, there a job, or just-a-little-job job, God has provided us with just enough for what we've needed at whatever given moment.

Neither of us happy in our jobs, nor confident from week to week that what we are bringing in is going to be enough after our tithe to the church, we are both constantly on the lookout for something else while desperately guarding our savings account.  The blessing amidst this constant job shuffle is that we have the hope of our Lord Jesus Christ and the shoulder of one-another to lean on when we are exhausted from the shuffle and weary of waiting for God's plan for our life and ministry together to unfold.